Beach and Company Parenting 5-16 Hour 2

Sandy Beach
Wednesday, May 16th

Are you an "Old Fashioned" Parent and proud of it. Listen to Beach and Company LIVE Monday thru Friday 9am-Noon on News Radio 930 WBEN 

00:33:15

Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

This arrows on noted child psychiatrist says yes I'm old fashion and I'm proud of it. And he says he's old fashioned a lot of ways and move as work raising. Raising children. And I I like his or his proposals he's old fashioned and a lot of different ways. Including a minimum of afterschool activities. The unwavering and Simon of personal responsibility. And discipline that's less talk and more action. The goal of using children with a high esteem has proven to be a complete bust. He says it's more about your problem that a solution to a problem and I. Agree with him the author of says pardon. He also says zone that I should have a drink water shall hear a lot of you. You'd who chatter chatter about Tony while I'm taking areas several water here. The one thing about parity in that I've discovered in touched on this. In after taking criticism for because I look at it you know. I mean yellow right here is what I want them to understand that when I see something. I mean business and I think it's important if the kid knows all that's just mom or dad about a knob got bad weather the storm and and a couple minutes later Merkel backed away. I don't know there's no repercussions. And now as as we talked earlier you'd they shouldn't be afraid their view but they should be apprehensive not knowing what is going to result from their bad behead a. I I solid example of a kid knowing if they threw a big enough tantrum bogey they won I was at a pizza shop on Monday. And there was a yacht mother and her daughter waiting for. Of an order and the little girl. Through it had to be a ten minute tantrum so what is the mother do buys her slice of pizza. I'm no absolutely not absolutely love in is one of the worst things you can do and I'm sorry grandparents what you are the most guilty ones out there of cave in and the grandkids let's say if fish Ron. New Hampshire is review of fish here on WBM thanks for college. Moral noticeably hello there what do you think of old fashioned parenting are you'll fashion or your kind of new waves. No almost finished 25 years or Marine Corps. PLO as. Well our epic always hang uniform Auburn people like I will listen to what you have Thursday. But I want my yard to order one point orders moved option like California. Over to Europe. Keystrokes. She had there free children. Two boys and a girl. And there. They came up or the first sign. They're like OK my local the second time I'm like oh he can do it. So what sort of discipline on it and put figure. You don't you don't sit ups but. And the second time they were part time they were there. Bush asserts itself. What more do not touch you won't good. And right now my gut player or a great Sunday he told me. You don't take your police officer. And my other grandson. Is lieutenant commander in the very. Oh congratulations. Yeah. I think their military is a great background. For a lot of things and certainly good things were talking about now. Really enhances. You see the real world. As it as it stands and not have as you would like it to be bowing to your every need. Yeah law say my grandson called me up publicity is stationed. All time OK. But he called me he says creates this you. I. That's grades eight you as it's great when a plan comes together you are obviously had a plan and has come together doesn't get better than that vision thank you for wearing the uniform we appreciate it very much. Yeah I think that the military. Is there great great. Great experience because it teaches you a lot of things. It teaches discipline teaches a partnership would. With the people around you it teaches you that you you've got to say what you mean and mean what you say. And I I I like him that attitude. And it's so refreshing. When your around. A young people. Why aren't all adults yet there's still young. Who are a responsible and and to show proper respect when I first went to Texas. One thing that I noticed immediately lets say. OK my daughter was six years ago might auto searches all over in Texas. In these children that we're who're around down there were very respectful. Yes ma'am yes sir. No man knows there are very nice it's very it's very enlightening you'd always see your tone of his may be a little bit to focus for you but. The Amish. Go around them on a regular basis in a Randolph Connell angle area. To get my fabulous cheeseburger and to get a homemade bread and things like that. And a big kids that they run the Amish food areas of food stands. Very polite very you know guys it really makes you feel good just seeing video of the way they act. And so I'm thinking that there's a big difference. In you're brought up now maybe the military and the Amish. Might VO two extremes Oreo I don't think so. But it's that mindset of respect for an adult. Rather than holding your breath sucking her thumb screaming stomping your feet on the ground their mom gets to appease the pizza. All right I mean as that was described. I've seen him before. Basically. The old fashioned way is. We love you aware veered elsewhere your father and mother. And and you're going through being guided by us we expect you to listen to what we have to say and do it. I saw pretty easily. Guess what things that I think is important parenting is something there it's very dear to me. As I feel that I'm responsible. For the memories of my kids you're creating the memories so I want to create as many. Good positive memories that I can't. Well that's good and you have to have some of the elements through. I have my grandfather is razor strap hanging in the bathroom. If it had been removed a couple of times but never used he never had to use it. Just the thought of him using it was enough to whip me in the shape he never touched us will it ever not once. But the senior there and it was just like fishes. The military uniform a marine uniform is a marine uniform you pay attention okay you see your razor strap hanging in the bathroom. And that occasionally I tour three times a thing. He actually went there and removed it just took off you book. And all band I'm not doing that again I'm going to behaved and as I learned some of these things. Some of the memories of being good some of automobiles scary but as long as your real. Realistic irrational. And you do vote duel with love and you're not you know going overboard and I think it's very effective but now today. Go to the mall sometimes. A lot of women like to dress like their daughters or in some cases they're granddaughters. Nod. Not good you hear kids mouthing off all the time. Not. It's not good. You see disrespect everywhere not good next thing you know one day there in the moll doing that next thing mirror in the mall parking lot shooting did you. Not good not good at all. We'll be back would Maher after this let's go to boot. Texas Longhorns stayed and Terry terrier on WB yen. Good morning there you know person foremost on the book I consider myself more of an old school type terror and I learned a lot of good them. Values and and they would much rather. Let me pay from my grandmother who would also. Very old school woman. My kids you know we do every other weekend saying I am. But and still as much as I can refer this to Landon. Just being and welfare than black candle at them when they're there I don't tranda. Like why not done mom you know just glossy like to call repaired. Right well that's that's markers that happens a lot. Absolutely and I think that's part of the problem today but you know I am. I'm not gonna prepare my kids that aren't perfect children but one thing I'm excited to is that you know. I'd try to stay out of my feelings about certain things specifically when it comes to discipline them because. You know. I'm trying to let them not to be idiotic and all I don't want them. Necessarily like me just because I give maverick thing that a lot. I look at it like I'm trying to prepare them. So that future self I got hurt their feelings. Along the way by. Disciplinary. Or correcting them when I find them in the wrong then tell me. Those are good lessons learned and and that's as important as anything. What you just said preparing them. To be good adults that's that's your main object so lets them use should be so well learn by your kids. Absolutely and I won this thing but actually touched garments Simon you know you want public. And people want to debate their children. I'm lacking a debate my children like Tommy said what what do you say something surreal actually I don't necessarily have to give you an explanation that I feel like they're wanna warm it. And they might receive it but at the end of the day. I'm a bad year that cared and that's the end of it I'm not gonna debate chew on the market and you live view. And if I'd say that something's gonna be punished I all of the really bad because I don't want him Benoit tested them this time. And he let me make it the next time I think even go there you know I don't know I don't play games like got to talk to my kid that they're twelve and thirteen. Cannot talk to them as best they weren't involved you know not yet also adamant. All that kind of stuff but I had been there I'm not concerned with my kids thinking that I'm their brand I want them to understand. That's right now I am an authority figure in their lives. And will be now until they're eighteen and hopefully by the time I hit an eighteen year old mark Dell are not about. Respect the bits implanted and on the troop not a the other strategy and core values that I think every person should. Info John Rosemont are ever can't make a speaking engagement I think it's an informed nice job and and well done. Good parenting skills thank you very much. Yup I think the only time you explain something like that is if something can be learned by explaining it. I'm not because you're trying to defend your position if you said do something and they don't wanna do it. And you just though one to defend your position. That's a that's one thing that I think I would avoid. If if explaining to them what led you to that decision will. Will increase their behavior oral skills. Of listening and doing what they're supposed to be going. Then there might be worth it but by and large you are the parent remember. That you are in charge a lot of people wanna feel like it's an equal. It's an equal partnership is not. It's not they do not have the skills at their age when you're raising them. To be adults instantly you have to bring them through adult school and you're in charge of adult school. And as sometimes they don't understand it. And if you wanna explain something that they don't know yet spine. But you shouldn't have to defend everything is today. You say here here's a chart from ice cream cone you're gonna be going the history of jar and ice cream cones. That's would you item that's that they want that's what they get if they don't want that they and they don't get anything. You also can't be a screamer and you can't sit there just costs at least green nature Georgia as a eventually. They're just commit to when you while it is amazing if you gave if he gave me a microphone is certainly out right now. To various places I could bring home within a couple of hours some awful examples of parenting I mean you just see it all over the place. Because of a lot of adults feel I don't need this aggrieved by have enough work. I have enough this week that my car just broke down I didn't get the raise I want and so I'm going to be non interest in disciplining a child. The investment you make. In looking after your child and giving proper discipline will pay in the long run. It really well because they'll be a time when those kids are adults. And they'll be a time when you'll you'll you'll covered a relationship for them. That's. Good evolved over the course of their lifetime into something positive and something good. You're yelling and screaming certainly not hurting them. That's a that's beyond the pale totally. But just explaining through them sometimes. Sometimes it pays off. Explaining something through them I don't know all right as part of a teaching process teachers aren't the only ones that teach kids parents should be the main teacher has an effect. Go to Linda in buffalo when they hear on WB yen. I. And a league source today. Do you. Not you had done or not it's not buy com. Where I found bet that the expect tiger debt. When our children. Have parted. Would be allowed a column about threatening. That's truly out. Yeah and I couldn't quite a while but I Duchovny net submit this somebody you know. With better equipment that. I didn't I don't Iran can bite I. I went out. But you don't got a couple of bad and hundreds lend Allah hi you know item that they we call it by the let you know let. I like that as I said I saw some of that in Texas and it was very impressive that a very respectful and very impressive. Yeah and people are low low. You really are when I got down there are always feel so refreshed when I leave not because I've got a good baked goods. But because I've met some good people and it's nice to see people enjoying their lives. The golf I get an eight creep their hair and I probably would. You have a they are everywhere and the big goods are delicious hey thank you a missile and that we appreciate it thank you very much yet thanks for get me thinking about Amish donuts Alia the Amish don't you kidding me wow it is noses anchors on your boat had a solid. You know it's good they're breads. Their breads are good through and the are you going to be with the kids and the case says the Amish children are are doing shores even at very young ages. You see them there in the field there helping mom or dad. And there they're really set a good example. I remember getting them there wants a little later I usually do a middle walking home from school. In a procession and they AM they seem to be having very enjoyable time it was good to see that. The decision murder fresh. It is pretty valuable lessons nick learned while I was recovering now. He had to chip in and help take care as Smart sure and I think he felt good about that good about himself I think that was a good learning all bets. That's very good any time a kid can contribute to the family. And feel that hey I just did something they've. A good mom and dad asked me to do more I wanted to do and I just thought of it and gets a positive feedback settings very good this enemies of man. F a wanna get involved and then she'd know of course she would cry if she couldn't do some good things for Mickey would do blunt. You know you know who'll does that bode well Tim Moyer ten he says I love to get involved with future. I say to yes thank you very much you feel it and I get my little star you know you put it right here and people NC that he helped us. And as bad guys. Sometimes I have to do it by a disciplinarian. Who is seven it was office I'll vote and I do it no lie national honors go to Zurich. Or backward region got it right after the there was a standby. You're going to think December Castro drawings Stempler. That you're the guy who's gonna and a half hour. He's gonna go home early today at eleven birdies twelve everybody checked it a try prevail over here always be back after this. Backward region company and got my text here. Lamb we were raising our daughter. People used to tell us how many rules. And over to a strict our daughter excelled. Off through school and college and grad school. People and teachers would tell us how well behaved how kind how polite she was. But we did have rules that we were stripped. We wouldn't change a thing world fashion and we're proud of it out of the approach is in the pudding the results. And Valerie go on little paragraph from you from idea previous. Column by John Rosemont which. Yeah you would think this is pretty harsh. But I think it's part of old fashioned pounding. Says a lot of people are afraid of their children they're afraid to upset them to deprive them of what their friends have. Afraid of losing their carefully cultivated friendship a wave them. As typical of folks in that generation. I am thankful that my parents did not care whether I like them or not. I love that. You do not need approval from your children as the whether they like Q and on its whether there is an area say a bond their respect whatever you're not their best friend in that will be. You certainly can care about the medium of them don't care about you and I love you too. But best friend Jim are going to be and usually when you do when you try to do that. It is really weakens your position as a parent because they don't expire expect any discipline for anything from their best friend. Donna in Toronto on Madonna here on WB again. And I just love that we need to and it shows is show while ago about how we all grew up together and how great life. You know. I'm real John Ehrlichman and myself and I'm not carry key at and he could I couldn't you know everyone has that I wanted to say and let's let it go well I'm not gonna go on. I have one to nineteen. My late husband and I can't wind this ranking saying that John Rosemont and I'm wondering how are you feel about this and not real sure about this. Is a lot on many people are high and allow it to their children all the computing chores. Now when I grew up my parents you know could've written on her own book material action. Just like you might in the straw that he was big and Ali did you get out of his chair. So I know and moderately in my daughter was out in July I know male and no well all year I had the mother father sister brother averaging. I would never and you are so right I would never my daughters and and I like twenty Syria will get my point very quickly actually read my daughter. So they can't archaic to dedicate Gerard she does injury she even if your ears. Having a little at a separate now because it left university and it shouldn't go back. Organ and a big pre not a big problem but you could actually make your choice in life we just not going all my money but I'll point when I was growing up. We got a lot. Whether or out we did our shores you know we didn't do our chores we were punished. Now I have a five year old should look at just by your older than me. And they'll punishment for her would be grab on to. Now what good is an allowance of fifteen or sixteen year old girl she can't go here and it may apply ago. That's right and the other thing you know that the days for itself on grounding call when you couldn't use the phone in my house. We are your incommunicado. That's the point but if you had access to the telephone and video games and computers and all kinds of stuff. You're not really being punished as a punishment there. Rumor to pick it like to read it stopped but. Well my point lies I know a lot of kids growing up and like he would kept happening today where stating their source getting there aren't. We had to use our source anyway. And we got Carlyle yet but we also got in trouble so it couldn't spend our. And I did wonder how I as an adult audit found out that what gets caught me and again John Rosa da does. Propose that you know he'd withhold a lot I don't get it short now my parents didn't do epic punished Dustin said okay you're you're not gonna do it. And I'm proud as an adult working. How great it was to work at a job that I light. Letting it travel had no problem I enjoyed my paycheck and a job heading due to make money. And I really think that that wasn't matching accents children and well if you go to your source you can. It is kind of sets you up for your life as a worker true. In other words when you do that as an adult if you suddenly no show for work most of his time you'll underpaid and if you do that too often you won't have a job. I'm I'm kinda have a mix thought about allowances. I did I do feel that if if you was who work with your children and partnership for taking out the trash are doing this or whatever if they do it. Having a spending money I think as valuable they learn the value of money and if they don't do what they shouldn't get it. You know we did get our wallets but if we didn't do our shores we got. Yeah I understand that because Bubba what is your folks did just shows the value of money and otherwise it has no value of its own is paper. Is what you received from it. Is is like cows and if you don't get anything from it it wouldn't matter if you had a drug a Dresser drawer full of money. You're getting all fulfillment from it. That's Smart. I remember my father he might have such as does something horrific and by not getting my my sister her rollout of the saint nom. You know that's a minute. I thought well let's see there's Smart because there are different lessons to be Oregon and met you they taught you. That in itself it has no value you've got to be able to get around to it thank you gonna appreciate the call thank you so much. I Tony do you if you have a Wallace for your kids. Yes that gets any allowances they do anything yes he has to take out the garbage every week yes to bring the cans back in. Clean his room and a sister with things if I need to how he's EST how Miller V doesn't. No allowance that's good. Like beamer did you gotta alone I did. On just for doing certain things I have a really bad memory of what I did to get the allowance but are never get Melo I. I like the idea. Of having. Earned something. And as a kid if you do the chores that you're supposed to do that you've agreed to do. Then you've earned that money they didn't just give it to you there's a difference between earning money and having a given you it was so long time ago. There there are people appreciate things that they've earned things that they were just given not not nearly as much appreciate. And it's time if I fly if it's on Friday because this is Dana kisses along once and I've there's been days where I've given ms. lawless and checked his room. Ohno neck give me along spec they rooms not done in my stats. Every DI exactly so low what do you what do you learn there you learned that if you have responsibility and fall through you'll be rewarded because that's the deal you would agree that. If you don't you'll and you can expect severe ordered just because of your high self esteem. He'll get mad he'll think about it and then apologized. Clean his room and then he that I go to iTunes yeah so it it gives you the Arab feeling of what ma whatever best things in. In Cosby's show I know it's not good views Bill Cosby is an example now but this this is good I love this moment. Theo is his oldest son. While while there will had a part time job and decided. I'm gonna I don't live with the family I wanna be O be able to do and come and go as I please. So I'm going to move out because they got a part time job so 'cause these are really think you can support yourself on via. And those so Cosby went and got the monopoly game and he took the money in the paper money out of the monopoly in recent okay how much gone earned. And Theo told them so we took that much of monopoly money. He is okay. How much is your rant going to be in he's told them and he feels that often. What about you're gonna need a car to get around because. And you don't want to blow go to go to blow work by thumbing a ride there's no public transportation so they took that out. They kept taking things out until he had a lot left that he had to do and neither have any money. It was a great lesson. To teach to a kid. That because you got a few bucks is not necessarily enough. And you've got to keep working at it and hopefully. Go up any financial matters or get things that you're like donning gets you rewards for getting those that. That was the moment there was in the more innocent days of the bill Cosby show will take a break and be back tomorrow and Israel and I'm thirty WB. There is a difference of opinion in knowing. Mean allowances. The reason that I said before and I repeated now as to why I think it's a good idea. As long as proper chores or whatever usually the first chance they child has. Two earned some thing is within the house they you know in a while mowing somebody else's lawn or anything like that men. When Iran there are different gradual things. Maybe have a small newspaper route you. Malvo on her help in the driveway or something like that OK but that's their first opportunity to learn within the confines of their own house. And I like the concept of earning. So that rather than just giving. If so okay it's Friday. And you're getting five dollars seizure allowance poems is giving it to them. I don't think that works I think it's let's go over the things you're supposed to do album although what are we agree to agree to five dollars a story number of course. And then here it is you learn this I liked that okay that's resign like it but let me tell you loose screw things up. For every everybody in the family pages and together and that's the way it works which is the way it works by the way but who screwed it up. Big time was Phil Donahue. Phil Donohue used to walk out in the movie audience with a microphone. And his audience was mainly a woman he's married tomorrow okay. And and this was in the days while we were discovering. That that women. Didn't have the same advantages and things like that is mandated that it was unable they weren't. Maybe in the same amount of money for the same jobs and and the whole kind of it was still talk about today but that's when I started. And what he used to do is say he had a woman up there an idea. He was sail well your your happily married yes I am you have what do Joseph has ago. Well tell me tell me you know move cooks the meals. Well I cooked meals you cook all the males via a do well OK you know a good cook makes in New York City good cook makes excellent analysts. Well Alison good well I do laundry oh really. You know what the laundry would charge to do the things that take care of Amendola and here's some instantly and then he goes over to you drug improved through school ms. Booth school Australia. That's a show for Asia via much at. And he starts with the best. As to how much as the lady of a house doing the things that we all understand and respect him and value but not like this. And they'll tell you how much you should be earning as the wife so that's what started it. And I because he was enormously popular and there and I everytime I see that they hair on the back of my next Odom. Because here's one thing. You don't pay for your room the policy you don't pay for your dry cleaners dentist work. You know you don't do this sort of out of the other thing. So there's two separate issues. Yeah everybody in the family has different shores and Deborah bureau part of the whole. The hole was the family you do what you do and you do that you do this and I do that and together we're family that's what makes it out. No one should be singled out is as contributing more or less or certainly earning more. Such recall is I've heard arguments in the past and a lot of people seemed to blame. Was in the doctor Spock or die that's showers child raising they had the home more or less than new Walter guys it was crazy it was their one of the first popped but I child razors. There was on TV a lot near Boca and stuff like comprise more than one. But that's a family is not a business venture. But each person has their own rouge area of responsibility. And it's decided among them but nobody should learn. Yeah a spot because you did more you earn more. Now when children are involved children get assigned tasks and this is the reward for me it's not like Madison picking out she wants on dried tomatoes I don't see. I was Mueller yes. And has given me a lot of shows. Because one day I was behind a woman unfortunately. And her young daughter Madison. In there we're out of place I earlier mentioned the place anymore it's great place on a lower. But there may feel is right in front of you at all. And it's and it's five feet wide. And they got eight gazillion variations of everything. In this younger I was waiting five or six. And she's what their mother and her mother is going through though she's learning to read. With the man you know and her mother is going through the menu. Imus and the last time we were here you have the sun dried tomato and Amy are you a place. Please she went through everything. Everything. I want I know what I want and I just wanted to ten seconds of the attention of barbarism ago. Here's Iowa argument number six and I can be out of there she went through everything so that the five year old could make an informed of five Euro decision. Drove me crazy as ever since then she has been my go to thought. Are regarding children are you have to make a lot of decisions for them. And it might be good for their self esteem Tuesday. You know what. I had too many years and dried from the knees this month they give me something else you know tackle the real guy athlete would provide embryos yes and that's if they mean it made me furious. But he's given me about viruses Chicago so I think from that. I I think we're getting close enough to do that magic. Oh cash code words. There's not Madison. Casual word. We're this hour is when you go W I ND OW window looking out the window. Text that is 72 created one human went up thousand dollars.
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